i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize