I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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