suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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