you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
