And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
