I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
