so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize