you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
