Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
