His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
