So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
