sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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