Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
