So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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