OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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