i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
