I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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