In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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