I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
