Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
