my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
