i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it because I queefed?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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