I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
