I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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