ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize