we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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