3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
