don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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