You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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