We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
