come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
