I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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