Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
