trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
sex in a hospital.. check
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize