I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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