I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
