Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
