well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
