capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
