How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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