i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
