And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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