Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
