Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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