do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
