Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
