In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
