Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm at about main and main street
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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