How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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