Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
