He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
