so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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