Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize