I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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