Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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