Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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