I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
