Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
